Thursday, January 19, 2012

3 Ways To Help Our Little Princesses Love Their Hair

3 Ways To Help Our Little Princesses Love Their Hair
By Terez Howard

I ask my daughter, “How do you want me to fix your hair?”
“I want my puffs.  I like them big, real BIG, because I like to squeeze them.”
After I fix her puffs as big as I can get them, she stands about 2 inches from the full-length mirror in our hallway and gives them a good squeeze.  She’s obviously very pleased with the results.
“My hair is like yours,” she says excitedly.
My 4-year-old loves her curly hair.  After a no-poo wash, I swear that she’s going to get whiplash from whipping her hair.  Although she believes her hair is just like mine, it isn’t.  She is half white.  And I have micro locs.
Happy with my hair
Before Micah was born, I learned to love my natural hair.  I have been determined to ensure my daughter loves what she’s been given - her skin, her nose, her toes and yes, her hair.  Children learn by example.  I love my hair.  The Girl wants to be like Mama, so she loves her hair.
That means that I don’t complain about my hair texture.  I do not talk about limitations associated with my hair.  And, I certainly do not long for “good hair.”  She will never hear me talk smack on my own hair.
I take pride in my hair.  I show off that pride by trying out a variety of hair styles.  I show off her hair with a plethora of hair styles, as well.  This way, she can see that her hair doesn’t need to be fried or altered chemically to look cute.  That is exactly what our little princesses should know.
Hair talk
Like I said before, my daughter is 4.  But I don’t underestimate her capacity to learn.  She knows that Mama’s locs will not come out, that I have to retighten my roots, why I needed to braid and band during shampooings, why I braid her hair at night, why we use a Denman imitation, why she gets regular trims, and I could go on and on.  Now, I certainly don’t sit her down and put her through Naturalicious Hair 101.  Yet, as we go about our day, we talk about everything we do.  That includes what we do with our hair.
Take time to explain what and why you do what you do to your hair and your daughter’s.  For a 4-year-old, just a couple sentences suffice. 
Micah likes to share what she knows about hair.  Just recently, she very matter-of-factly told her 3-year-old friend, “My Mama has Sisterlocks.”  Like the old adage, knowledge is power.  That power gives her confidence.
Show natural love
My daughter loves Nonna’s waist-length, straight, black hair.  She loves Mama’s micro locs, too.  She and I compliment hair styles from women of all hair textures.  Together, we show our appreciation for the hair on various ladies’ heads.
Spending time to speak well of various textures shows that we don’t favor anyone.  It’s not all about straight hair or just curly hair or only locked hair.  We don’t avoid giving praise where praise is due.  We take time to appreciate everyone. 
Our little princesses deserve to feel beautiful with what God gave them.  We can engender this pride by what we say, what we do and how we feel. 

Terez Howard
Freelance Writer, Editor and Naturalista


  1. Wonderful post! I am a mother of 3 daughters all with very different hair textures. I continue to battle the "I wish I had her hair" statements made by my oldest as she refers to my middle daughter (who has caucasian-like hair texture, straight with a bit of curl). It is SO frustrating b/c I now have locs as well, but I have been natural since before they were born. My oldest, 11, already displays visions of self-hate when she talks about herself. I also use positive words, uplift her hair, and TRY to accomodate her wishes but she usually always wants it flat ironed for the straight permed look. We also live Phoenix where diversity in our community is not present. Any suggestions from other moms with preteen daguhters.

  2. Well, my daughter is only 4. But I would suggest showing your daughter some various hair styles online that showcase her texture. Perhaps when she sees the variety of styles that she can do with her hair, she will feel more confident in it. I personally love the styles at Even though her daughter is younger, they could easily be worn on an older girl.

  3. There were some good lessons for me in this post, namely appreciating the diversity of all textures and showing that to a little one who may love your own texture but have a different one herself. This is very smart, kudos to you and your babygirl. I also need to learn not to down play my hair, which I've done to make others feel more comfortable- never again.

  4. My goodness, I loved this! So wonderful to start her appreciating the beauty and diversity in all at such a young age. Definitely inspiring and a great lesson for all!

  5. I like the idea of starting the talks at a young age. Children are very impressionable at that age.


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