Thursday, September 13, 2012

Advice for a Natural Girl in New York

"I recently did a big chop and my hair is growing back, but I am a bit discouraged because I do not know what to do with at this point. Do you have any suggestions. I am desperate. Background: I got a relaxer when I was 12, and I loved it (at the time). I was young and I thought that straight was the way to go. However, now that I am older I would like to put away childish  My issue was moving from straight to curly. I like the "untamed" look. I loved when my hair curled up. So, I would like to go natural because my hair would be more versatile in that state.

However, my bf hates the short look, and he makes jokes all the time, my family says my hair looks matted now, and I feel very self-conscious, now that my hair is growing back. My bf joked after my big chop -because he says he hates short hair, and my family (some members) liked the short-bald-look, others tolerated it, and others loved it ( mixed reviews). I want to embrace my afro but I am having a hard time. This is my third time transitioning, because I caved the other times, and got a perm, as a result of the negative comments. I live in NY, and I do not know a lot of great natural stylists. In addition, the ones I do know are either very expensive, or are limited as to what they can do. PLEASE let me know if you can help in any way? I tried braids but they slipped off because of the texture and length of my hair. I do not know what else to do." - N.D.

If you have any advice for this natural New Yorker and how to style her hair while in transition or suggestions for natural hair stylist in New York, please reply to this post. Thank you!


  1. Have you tried youtube and searching TWA(teeny weeny afro)? I'm transitioning as well and youtube has helped alot with day to day styling and how to encourage the curl and grow healthy hair. Also this link: has thousands of pictures of ppl with natural hair that help keep me motivated. Don't give up! The race is not for the swift but those who endure to the end. :)

  2. I don't know what part of New York you live in, but I live in Brooklyn, and we have a ton of natural hair stylists. Maybe you should do some research and find one that is suitable to you.

    As for the negative comments from family and friends, i understand completely. I wear locs, and most of my family members can't stand them. However, it's YOUR choice. As much as I hate to say this, you have to strengthen your resolve and close your mind to negativity. It can be hard, but the results are worth it.

    :No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
    -Eleanor Roosevelt.

  3. I went natural about 2 ½ years ago. I was trying to transition because I was not use to short hair, but one day I decided to do the big chop unexpectedly. At first, I was very self conscious of my look because I would hide behind my hair for years but after the first time I really took a good like in the mirror I was hooked. I can say that my family and friends were very supportive. I am still natural and I do not care if I am the only one who likes my hair because that is all that matters! My point to this story is that I really hope you are confident with your decision because if not you will reach a weak point and revert back to a perm. You have to ignore the negative comments from your family. Remember that we have been brain washed to hate our crowns of glory. There is a plethora of information available on the web such as: you tube, curly nikki, Motown girl, fro-stoppa-Ms-gg’s natural hair journey and other blogs. Look online for salons and ask people with natural hair about their stylist. Yes, that means you have to walk right up to them and say, “I really like your hair do you mind telling me the name of your stylist”. Good luck and keep your head up!

  4. I cut my hair almost a year ago & I received similar reactions. If you rock it confidently others will come around & if they don't oh well. I've found that it's a personal journey & the more you embrace it the less you care about others opinions.

    As far as styling have you tried defining your curls? That's all I did for the first 3 months because my hair was so short.

  5. I'm 1 month Post Big chop as well and felt kinda self concious as well (use to wearing long weaves).. but as viewed more vids in youtube and even became part of groups on websites for women with natural hair, my confidence flourished! I'm astonished at the speed in which my hair is growing and I love just feeling my natural texture and knowing that this is the hair God made us with, we were born with this hair texture and more of us need to embrace our uniqueness!! My hubby isn't all that thrilled either, even tried to bargain with me to get a perm but I feel strongly on this issue and nothing can change my mind.. He is even beginning to enjoy massaging this kinky texture while he falls asleep!


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