3 Ways To Help Our
Little Princesses Love Their Hair
By Terez Howard
I ask my daughter, “How do you want me to fix your hair?”
“I want my puffs. I
like them big, real BIG, because I like to squeeze them.”
After I fix her puffs as big as I can get them, she stands
about 2 inches from the full-length mirror in our hallway and gives them a good
squeeze. She’s obviously very pleased
with the results.
“My hair is like yours,” she says excitedly.
My 4-year-old loves her curly hair. After a no-poo wash, I swear that she’s going
to get whiplash from whipping her hair.
Although she believes her hair is just like mine, it isn’t. She is half white. And I have micro locs.
Happy with my hair
Before Micah was born, I learned to love my natural
hair. I have been determined to ensure
my daughter loves what she’s been given - her skin, her nose, her toes and yes,
her hair. Children learn by
example. I love my hair. The Girl wants to be like Mama, so she loves
her hair.
That means that I don’t complain about my hair texture. I do not talk about limitations associated
with my hair. And, I certainly do not
long for “good hair.” She will never
hear me talk smack on my own hair.
I take pride in my hair.
I show off that pride by trying out a variety of hair styles. I show off her hair with a plethora of hair
styles, as well. This way, she can see
that her hair doesn’t need to be fried or altered chemically to look cute. That is exactly what our little princesses
should know.
Hair talk
Like I said before, my daughter is 4. But I don’t underestimate her capacity to
learn. She knows that Mama’s locs will
not come out, that I have to retighten my roots, why I needed to braid and band
during shampooings, why I braid her hair at night, why we use a Denman
imitation, why she gets regular trims, and I could go on and on. Now, I certainly don’t sit her down and put
her through Naturalicious Hair 101. Yet,
as we go about our day, we talk about everything we do. That includes what we do with our hair.
Take time to explain what and why you do what you do to your
hair and your daughter’s. For a
4-year-old, just a couple sentences suffice.
Micah likes to share what she knows about hair. Just recently, she very matter-of-factly told
her 3-year-old friend, “My Mama has Sisterlocks.” Like the old adage, knowledge is power. That power gives her confidence.
Show natural love
My daughter loves Nonna’s waist-length, straight, black
hair. She loves Mama’s micro locs,
too. She and I compliment hair styles
from women of all hair textures.
Together, we show our appreciation for the hair on various ladies’
heads.
Spending time to speak well of various textures shows that
we don’t favor anyone. It’s not all
about straight hair or just curly hair or only locked hair. We don’t avoid giving praise where praise is
due. We take time to appreciate
everyone.
Our little princesses deserve to feel beautiful with what
God gave them. We can engender this
pride by what we say, what we do and how we feel.
Writing/Editing: www.thewritebloggers.com
Terez Howard
Freelance Writer, Editor and Naturalista
Freelance Writer, Editor and Naturalista
E-mail: terezhoward@yahoo.com
Wonderful post! I am a mother of 3 daughters all with very different hair textures. I continue to battle the "I wish I had her hair" statements made by my oldest as she refers to my middle daughter (who has caucasian-like hair texture, straight with a bit of curl). It is SO frustrating b/c I now have locs as well, but I have been natural since before they were born. My oldest, 11, already displays visions of self-hate when she talks about herself. I also use positive words, uplift her hair, and TRY to accomodate her wishes but she usually always wants it flat ironed for the straight permed look. We also live Phoenix where diversity in our community is not present. Any suggestions from other moms with preteen daguhters.
ReplyDeleteWell, my daughter is only 4. But I would suggest showing your daughter some various hair styles online that showcase her texture. Perhaps when she sees the variety of styles that she can do with her hair, she will feel more confident in it. I personally love the styles at beadsbraidsbeyond.blogspot.com/. Even though her daughter is younger, they could easily be worn on an older girl.
ReplyDeleteThere were some good lessons for me in this post, namely appreciating the diversity of all textures and showing that to a little one who may love your own texture but have a different one herself. This is very smart, kudos to you and your babygirl. I also need to learn not to down play my hair, which I've done to make others feel more comfortable- never again.
ReplyDeleteMy goodness, I loved this! So wonderful to start her appreciating the beauty and diversity in all at such a young age. Definitely inspiring and a great lesson for all!
ReplyDeleteI like the idea of starting the talks at a young age. Children are very impressionable at that age.
ReplyDelete